Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Moved in...sort of
Here's what the moving van looked like on Friday when we finished loading. Note: 2 additional vehicles were filled to the brim as well. Translate that to the new place and presto! My present life!
Actually, things are coming along very well. My mom did an amazing job on the kitchen cabinets. For example, check out the wonder she did on the spice cabinet above the stove:
My brother & brother-in-law were the Hulk Hogans of the weekend, using their brains & brute strength to move all manner of heavy boxes & furniture. They saved my aching back, for sure!
Now I have to run to work...presentations to give tomorrow and Saturday and I haven't exactly thought about them. Wish me luck!
A new adventure
I wrote this post on Sunday, July 17; however, my internet service just came up today.
They’ve just left.
My parents, brother, & brother-in-law, all of whom gave up their whole weekend to help me move, just drove away. I’ve collapsed on the couch, exhausted. They don’t have that luxury, with a long drive home and duties demanding their attention when they get there.
I feel overwhelmed with gratitude to all of you who gave me such a nice sending off. So many people had me for a meal, helped me pack, loaded the moving truck, wished me well, and made sure I knew how much I’d be missed. Words cannot adequately express how much I appreciate your love and support, not to mention how much I will miss you, how blessed I am that you’ve been (and will continue to be!) in my life.
I’ve received a warm welcome here. One friend recruited another couple of friends to help me unload the truck. I’ve briefly encountered several people whom I know and/or will work with who’ve expressed their delight at my arrival. Really, aside from the fact that C*mc*st has royally messed up my phone and internet hookup and won’t make good on it, everything has gone with hardly a hitch. Miraculous, like so much else in this whole adventure.
I feel a sense of unreality about it all. My beautiful new house does not really feel like home - every once in a while, when I imagine going home, I picture my old (beloved) house and realize with a wave of sadness that I’m never going back there. Fortunately, I’m too busy to dwell on that...and I hope that by the time the busyness abates I will have come to think of this house as home.
Every once in a while I ask myself: What am I doing? I’m leaving a house I’ve loved, a job I’ve enjoyed, dear family and friends to pursue this adventure into the unknown. I’m not really an adventurous person; I don’t make snap decisions like this! Why have I made these sacrifices?
What am I doing? I’m saying yes to God. I did not go looking for this adventure; I did not seek it out. The offer came to me. And after I discerned that it was truly from God, His invitation down a new path, I said yes. I am stepping out of my comfort zone, confident that His plan for my life is good and will ultimately make me happy - even if there are short-term challenges to face and sacrifices to make.
I anticipate that the coming year will be busy, challenging, stressful, and even sad on some days. But I also anticipate God’s blessings as I respond to His invitation. I know I will grow as a person; I know it will be an adventure!
Let’s pray for each other, as we respond to His invitation to follow Him on our respective adventures.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Happy 4th of July!
I have some pretty terrific nieces and nephews, and they provide a steady stream of entertaining comments as well as some great adventures in my catholic education about life.My oldest nieces & I had planned a trip to the nearest American Girl museum earlier this summer, which we had to delay when one of them broke her leg. So I decided to spend the day with them, teaching them to knit and then joining them for a fireworks celebration in the local park.
The day became one long potential blog post. I wish I had pictures to show of my nephew drinking pickle juice straight from the jar, or my youngest niece crying "Cheers!" as she clubbed us all with her cotton candy. My oldest nieces (and my crafty sister) proved themselves quick learners and made great starts on their knitting projects. Everyone enjoyed the symphony in the park and the fireworks show at the end, although we all agreed that Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA" piped over a PA for the grand finale did not have quite the same effect as the symphony rendition of the 1812 Overture earlier in the show. (It reminded me of my boat ride on the Sea of Galilee with "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" playing over the loudspeaker.) And I learned that I don't know the words to songs such as "Dixie" or the Marine Corps hymn, but I can sing every word of Lee Greenwood's "Proud to be an American." Mental note: Rectify that soon.
I now find myself 10 days out from my life-changing move. I'm so grateful for precious time with family & friends before I become swamped with the transition into my new life. I'm excited about the changes, but glad to savor this time too.
Friday, June 17, 2011
House Hunters
I feel like I've I just lived my own marathon episode of HGTV's House Hunters. My marathon lasted 1 long day, 10 houses, and at least 3 drive-bys. Come with me on this reality drama...
My new hometown has not had a new home constructed since 1960, so I could buy an older home, or I could buy an even older home. It's a good thing I've always wanted to live in an older home! But an older home comes with some maintenance needs that I presently know nothing about. I needed to steer clear of money pits, as well as any potentially unsafe areas. I prayed for a beautiful house that is physically and fiscally safe house. I don't want much, really I don't!
First I saw a charming 2 bedroom home with lots of living space, though small on the kitchen, bath, and guest room:
My new hometown has not had a new home constructed since 1960, so I could buy an older home, or I could buy an even older home. It's a good thing I've always wanted to live in an older home! But an older home comes with some maintenance needs that I presently know nothing about. I needed to steer clear of money pits, as well as any potentially unsafe areas. I prayed for a beautiful house that is physically and fiscally safe house. I don't want much, really I don't!
First I saw a charming 2 bedroom home with lots of living space, though small on the kitchen, bath, and guest room:
I saw a couple of homes I liked in themselves, but didn't like the neighborhood. This doesn't exactly show what I'm talking about, but often a nice house would be surrounded by ill-kept or foreclosed homes.
There were some things that were flat out bizarre.
You can't tell from the picture, but this (working) toilet was smack in the middle of the laundry/basement/garage. The basket to the left of the toilet is positioned directly under the laundry chute. Can you imagine having dirty laundry come through when you're sitting there? Or what if the garage door opened at just the wrong moment?
I wish I'd gotten a better angle on this photo of the (rotary dial) telephone next to the shower.
Ok, I admit that sometimes my kitchen looks like this, too. But not when a potential buyer comes to see!
You can't tell from the picture, but this (working) toilet was smack in the middle of the laundry/basement/garage. The basket to the left of the toilet is positioned directly under the laundry chute. Can you imagine having dirty laundry come through when you're sitting there? Or what if the garage door opened at just the wrong moment?
I wish I'd gotten a better angle on this photo of the (rotary dial) telephone next to the shower.
Ok, I admit that sometimes my kitchen looks like this, too. But not when a potential buyer comes to see!
Then there were the structural issues:You may be able to see the water damage on the wall above this original sectional sofa. That's an outside wall, people, and it's a brick house. Eek.
And then there was just the awful retro decor:
Those black things on the shutters are eagles...and they are on ALL the shutters. The eagle theme carried throughout the house. My grandmother had a dress made out of the same pattern as this wallpaper...back in 1960-something. And that carpet is red, to match the red in the wallpaper. I'm not kidding.
In the end, there was only one option: the charming home I saw at the very beginning of the day. The owners proposed an arrangement agreeable to us all. They must store their belongings in the house for a year, which will be a little cramped for me, but I'm willing to do so in exchange for living in such a charming home. Deo gratias!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
The Decision
It started about five years ago, when my parents and I had a conversation that went something like this:
Dad: "What do you want to do with your life?"
Me: "I really love teaching, and I love my students, and things are going great right now, but I'm not sure if I want to teach high school till I retire."
Dad: "Do you want to be a principal or academic dean?"
Me: "No. Too much administration; not enough teaching."
Dad: "A DRE (Director of Religious Education)?"
Me: "No. Too much administration; not enough teaching."
Dad: "Youth minister?"
Me: "Not enough structure. I like bells and schedules. Also, too much event-planning; not enough teaching."
Dad: "What DO you want to do?"
Me: "Now that we're talking about it, I realize that I would probably really enjoy teaching college. I love the classroom interactions with students, especially when they facilitate further interactions with students outside the classroom. I like that I would still have structure and scheduling. Yet I could teach students on a deeper and more advanced level. Yes, I think I'd like to teach college."
So I began exploring doctoral programs, drooling over this one and that one, yet never thinking it was quite the right time for that. Meanwhile, my school asked me to mentor new teachers year after year, and I enjoyed helping new teachers navigate the adventurous (and occasionally treacherous) waters of teaching high school. The diocese asked me to teach some classes for them, and an out-of-town college invited me to join their catechist training team on a part-time basis. I enjoyed meeting the new people (not to mention the relative receptivity of an adult audience) and I liked the intellectual challenge. And I continued my own studies, which continually reenergized me as a teacher.
In March, quite out of the blue, a university I respect invited me to join their faculty. Me? Yes, they said. I possess the combination of qualities they need. They can offer opportunities for growth - growth from teaching at a different academic level, certainly, but I can also take classes from them in preparation for eventual doctoral work...which they will provide.
How often does one's dream job land in one's lap? I expected to feel pure, unadulterated joy at such a prospect. Yet in the short time I had to make this life-changing decision, I wrestled with many mixed emotions. The job requires moving farther away from family and from many friends. Many years of investing heart and soul into a school, students, and faculty coming to an end. Giving up my wonderful house and beloved garden. Life surprised me with a fantastic opportunity, but it requires sacrifices. Suddenly many aspects of my life, formerly taken for granted, became very dear. Could I give them up?
God spoke, loud and clear. I do not believe that every open door comes from Him. Indeed, I've received many attractive offers over the years that I knew were not from Him. But this time was different. Over and over again I heard the Lord indicate that this time the offer came from His providential hand. How could I say no?
With mixed emotions, I said yes. With mixed emotions, I shared the news of my decision with colleagues, students, friends, and family. With mixed emotions, they congratulated me and wished me all the best. With mixed emotions (okay, maybe not so mixed) I say my goodbyes. Letting go is hard...and the only way I can do it is knowing that it leads me to something even better.
Thank you - with all my heart - to all my colleagues, students, and friends who gave me 11 wonderful years and prepared me to receive this gift from the Lord. Let's keep each other in prayer.
Dad: "What do you want to do with your life?"
Me: "I really love teaching, and I love my students, and things are going great right now, but I'm not sure if I want to teach high school till I retire."
Dad: "Do you want to be a principal or academic dean?"
Me: "No. Too much administration; not enough teaching."
Dad: "A DRE (Director of Religious Education)?"
Me: "No. Too much administration; not enough teaching."
Dad: "Youth minister?"
Me: "Not enough structure. I like bells and schedules. Also, too much event-planning; not enough teaching."
Dad: "What DO you want to do?"
Me: "Now that we're talking about it, I realize that I would probably really enjoy teaching college. I love the classroom interactions with students, especially when they facilitate further interactions with students outside the classroom. I like that I would still have structure and scheduling. Yet I could teach students on a deeper and more advanced level. Yes, I think I'd like to teach college."
So I began exploring doctoral programs, drooling over this one and that one, yet never thinking it was quite the right time for that. Meanwhile, my school asked me to mentor new teachers year after year, and I enjoyed helping new teachers navigate the adventurous (and occasionally treacherous) waters of teaching high school. The diocese asked me to teach some classes for them, and an out-of-town college invited me to join their catechist training team on a part-time basis. I enjoyed meeting the new people (not to mention the relative receptivity of an adult audience) and I liked the intellectual challenge. And I continued my own studies, which continually reenergized me as a teacher.
In March, quite out of the blue, a university I respect invited me to join their faculty. Me? Yes, they said. I possess the combination of qualities they need. They can offer opportunities for growth - growth from teaching at a different academic level, certainly, but I can also take classes from them in preparation for eventual doctoral work...which they will provide.
How often does one's dream job land in one's lap? I expected to feel pure, unadulterated joy at such a prospect. Yet in the short time I had to make this life-changing decision, I wrestled with many mixed emotions. The job requires moving farther away from family and from many friends. Many years of investing heart and soul into a school, students, and faculty coming to an end. Giving up my wonderful house and beloved garden. Life surprised me with a fantastic opportunity, but it requires sacrifices. Suddenly many aspects of my life, formerly taken for granted, became very dear. Could I give them up?
God spoke, loud and clear. I do not believe that every open door comes from Him. Indeed, I've received many attractive offers over the years that I knew were not from Him. But this time was different. Over and over again I heard the Lord indicate that this time the offer came from His providential hand. How could I say no?
With mixed emotions, I said yes. With mixed emotions, I shared the news of my decision with colleagues, students, friends, and family. With mixed emotions, they congratulated me and wished me all the best. With mixed emotions (okay, maybe not so mixed) I say my goodbyes. Letting go is hard...and the only way I can do it is knowing that it leads me to something even better.
Thank you - with all my heart - to all my colleagues, students, and friends who gave me 11 wonderful years and prepared me to receive this gift from the Lord. Let's keep each other in prayer.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Storms Prune the Garden
We had some wicked storms last week, and my glorious garden - which showed so much promise for summer - suffered the rage of wind & hail. I surveyed the damage, heartbroken, and pulled out my pruning shears to finish off what Mother Nature began. I forced myself to remember that pruning, even violent pruning of the kind the storm wreaked, effects more growth and greater fruitfulness. That reminder was the only way I could bring myself to do the cutting.
I presently face a storm in my own life. I have a life-changing decision to make. One moment I find myself thrilled, elated about possibilities; the next moment I cower before all the potential changes I face. I despise making decisions and resist even the best of changes. Decisions and changes feel like storms to me, however much I might wish myself to possess the spirit of those who eagerly embrace them.
Yet pruning causes greater growth. When we allow God to cut away even healthy growth, we grow back fuller, richer, more fruitful. Why? Is it that we rely more on Him when He removes things we've relied upon in His place? Is it an exercise in trust and obedience? Is it that He's saving people like me from our self-made ruts that become oh-so-comfortable but don't challenge us to reach for greater things?
I don't know the answer, exactly. But coincidentally (or providentially?), I read this yesterday from Discovering the Feminine Genius by Katrina Zeno:
One thing in life is predictable: change. Change, however, isn't arbitrary. God allows the stretching, fracturing, and reconfiguring of our lives in order to weave our unique tapestries in a more holistic (and holy) way.
Stretching, fracturing, and reconfiguring. That about sums up my life at the moment. How very wonderful to know that even though change feels so hard, God works through it to cultivate my interior garden.
I presently face a storm in my own life. I have a life-changing decision to make. One moment I find myself thrilled, elated about possibilities; the next moment I cower before all the potential changes I face. I despise making decisions and resist even the best of changes. Decisions and changes feel like storms to me, however much I might wish myself to possess the spirit of those who eagerly embrace them.
Yet pruning causes greater growth. When we allow God to cut away even healthy growth, we grow back fuller, richer, more fruitful. Why? Is it that we rely more on Him when He removes things we've relied upon in His place? Is it an exercise in trust and obedience? Is it that He's saving people like me from our self-made ruts that become oh-so-comfortable but don't challenge us to reach for greater things?
I don't know the answer, exactly. But coincidentally (or providentially?), I read this yesterday from Discovering the Feminine Genius by Katrina Zeno:
One thing in life is predictable: change. Change, however, isn't arbitrary. God allows the stretching, fracturing, and reconfiguring of our lives in order to weave our unique tapestries in a more holistic (and holy) way.
Stretching, fracturing, and reconfiguring. That about sums up my life at the moment. How very wonderful to know that even though change feels so hard, God works through it to cultivate my interior garden.
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