House Hunters

I feel like I've I just lived my own marathon episode of HGTV's House Hunters.  My marathon lasted 1 long day, 10 houses, and at least 3 drive-bys.  Come with me on this reality drama...

My new hometown has not had a new home constructed since 1960, so I could buy an older home, or I could buy an even older home.  It's a good thing I've always wanted to live in an older home!  But an older home comes with some maintenance needs that I presently know nothing about.  I needed to steer clear of money pits, as well as any potentially unsafe areas.  I prayed for a beautiful house that is physically and fiscally safe house.  I don't want much, really I don't!

First I saw a charming 2 bedroom home with lots of living space, though small on the kitchen, bath, and guest room:

I saw a couple of homes I liked in themselves, but didn't like the neighborhood.  This doesn't exactly show what I'm talking about, but often a nice house would be surrounded by ill-kept or foreclosed homes.

There were some things that were flat out bizarre.

You can't tell from the picture, but this (working) toilet was smack in the middle of the laundry/basement/garage.  The basket to the left of the toilet is positioned directly under the laundry chute.  Can you imagine having dirty laundry come through when you're sitting there?  Or what if the garage door opened at just the wrong moment?

I wish I'd gotten a better angle on this photo of the (rotary dial) telephone next to the shower.






Ok, I admit that sometimes my kitchen looks like this, too.  But not when a potential buyer comes to see!

Then there were the structural issues:


You may be able to see the water damage on the wall above this original sectional sofa.  That's an outside wall, people, and it's a brick house.  Eek.

Can you find the structural defect in this photo?









And then there was just the awful retro decor:

Those black things on the shutters are eagles...and they are on ALL the shutters.  The eagle theme carried throughout the house.

 








My grandmother had a dress made out of the same pattern as this wallpaper...back in 1960-something.  And that carpet is red, to match the red in the wallpaper.  I'm not kidding.

My mother promised to give me a disco ball for Christmas if I buy this house.  It's the only thing lacking in this rec room.  That black thing is a wet bar, and the mirrors behind are sporting funky gold glitter.

To complement the pink & blue tile, blue wallpaper with foil overlay decorated this bathroom.  You read that right.  It's even uglier in the flesh than it is in the picture.  There was a tub with the same theme, and then a yellow tile shower in the same bathroom.  What were they thinking?!

 Wood tile...on the ceiling.  Hmmm....

Somebody save me from wall mounted mirrors!!!












In the end, there was only one option:  the charming home I saw at the very beginning of the day.  The owners proposed an arrangement agreeable to us all.  They must store their belongings in the house for a year, which will be a little cramped for me, but I'm willing to do so in exchange for living in such a charming home.  Deo gratias!